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20th Feb 2013, 3:06 PM Episode #5 script

So i've been meaning to post this for a while but I'm just now getting around to it.

This episode (and the next one) went through a LOT of revisions. I still don't think it came out as good as it could have. Mostly it was due to me fumbling around not really knowing what it was I was trying to do. I always had the basic story down but there were just so many details that kept taking me around in circles. Add that to the fact that I kept having to redo pages over and over again because I wasn't satisfied with the art style. That's why I ended up going digital for #6. It was just faster and easier. I also enjoyed experimenting with not having panel borders. It yielded some interesting results, but I don't think I'll do it again.

In the end I think it ended up being too long. Instead of tring to do a two parter, I should have just made it one episode with more pages. I was still wanting each one to be 24 pages at the time. I've since abandoned that. Another problem I had was I was thinking of the story in terms of acts rather than in scenes, so a lot of the scenes don't flow very well because I wasn't giving the story room to breathe.

So anyway, Here's the script for Episode #5. I wrote two drafts (actually three, but I can find the first one I wrote so I think I overwrote it accidently).

Draft one

Episode #5 – I want to break free PART I

Act I

1                              Ext. – Pond – Day. Stardust and Freddie sit on the side of a pond.

2              Freddie – So-o-o-o he is going to be here right?

                Stardust – I told you.  It’s not an exact science.

                Freddie – Yeah but he said three o’clock and it’s already almost—

                Stardust – He said AROUND three o’clock. Don’t worry. He’s never skipped me once.

                                Sound effect – HONK! HONK!

3              Stardust – Ah yes, here he comes now.

                                A Canadian goose flies up and lands.

                Stardust – You’re late.

                Goose – A Canadian is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

                                Pause   

The two burst out laughing.

5              Stardust – Luke you nut job. Tell me, how are things in the great white north?

Luke – Oh not bad, little chillier than I’d like right now, but other than that no complaints. And uh, who’s your friend there?

Stardust – Oh, him? He insists on following me around everywhere.

Luke – Never known you to be the brotherly kind.

                Stardust – Ugh… it’s… uh… it’s complicated. So… have you got the stuff?

6              Luke – Right here!

He unties a small bag from around his neck and tosses it to Stardust. Stardust inspects it thoroughly before opening it up to take a whiff.

                Freddie – What is it?

                Luke – Nothing much. Just a little nepata catarina.

                Freddie – Which is…?

                Stardust and Luke – Catnip.

                Freddie – Ah.

7              Luke – So yeah I heard about the suicide thing a few months ago. Must’ve been a pretty tough break up.

                Stardust – Oh well, humans and their foibles.

                Luke – Has she gotten a new boyfriend yet?

                Stardust – Umm…no. But she has gotten a girlfriend instead.

                Luke – Hey I never met a dyke I didn’t like.

                Stardust – Yeah… whatever. Listen, it’s great to see you again.

                Luke – Oh yeah no problem, I’ll try to stop back again on the way up.

                Stardust – Enjoy the Florida weather for me.

                Luke – You know I will. Later buddy.

                                He spreads out his wings and takes off. Stardust ties the bag around his neck and the two begin walking home.

Act II

                                Ext. – Road – Day.

8              Freddie – So how do you know him anyway?

Stardust – Oh you know, you live in one place long enough, you end up just becoming friends with people without even trying without even trying.

Freddie – So true.

9                              Cut to – Close up of wheels spinning. A little girl rides on a bicycle with a basket on the front and streamers on the handle bars. She sees the two of them walking.

                Girl – Awww a stray cat. That’s so sad. He needs my help. I just know it.

                                She rides her bike up closer to him. She picks him up from behind.

                Stardust – Hey! What the-

Girl – I’m gonna take go-o-o-o-d care of you!

                Stardust – Run Freddie! Run while you still can!

                                The girl stuffs him in the basket and rides off.

10           Freddie – Oh no! What’ll I do?! She’s taken him! I gotta save him! I’ve gotta get help! Stay alive my friend! Whatever happens, I will find you!

11                           Int. – Basket - Its pitch black.

Stardust – Where am I? Where is she taking me? I dislike things happening against my will! OOF!

Girl’s voice (offscreen) – Now you’ll have to stay here for just a minute.

Door slams.

12                           Slowly he opens the lid of the basket.  He sees a lot of scribbly drawings in crayon hanging on the walls. He opens the lid completely. He looks around.

                Stardust – Well this is fine mess.

13                           He hears a voice offscreen.

                Voice  - Another failure!

Stardust looks in the direction it came from. He sees a hamster in a cage. There are many sculptures made of wood shavings.

                Another offscreen voice – You’ll have to excuse him…

                                Stardust turns and sees a parakeet in a cage.

14           Parakeet – He fancies himself something of a tortured artist.

                Hamster – I try to make the beautiful. But they always come out wrong!

                Stardust – I think that’s putting it mildly.

                Hamster – This one: Too fat! This one: Too symmetrical!

                Parakeet – Yep he’s a regular Vincent Van Gogh.

Hamster – It is ugly! Ugly! Ugly!!!

Stardust – That boy needs therapy.

Parakeet – It’s all psychosomatic.

Stardust – Yes, now if you could be so kind, would you point me the way out of here?

Parakeet – Out the front door mate. But I think you’ll find that easier said than done.

15                           The girl bursts into the room.

                Girl – We are gonna have so-o-o-o much fun!

                                She picks him up and carries him out.

16                           Cut to – Inside Stardust’s house. His owner fills a bowl with his name on it with cat food.

                Owner – Here kitty kitty kitty!

                                She looks in the front room but he’s not there.

                Owner – Hmm, that’s strange. I wonder where he’s gone off to.

Act III

17           Int. – Girl’s house.

Stardust sits at a small table. He is wearing a dress with a tiara on his head. In the chair to his left is a teddy bear and to his right is an extremely overweight dog.

                Girl – The tea will be ready in just a moment.

                                She curtsies and walks out of the room. The dog turns to Stardust.

                Dog – Do you have any food?

Stardust – Does it bloody look like I have any food?! Besides it looks like you could stand to skip a few hundred meals.

Dog – Well you don’t have to be a dick about it.

18                           The girl walks back in carrying a tray of tea and cookies.

Dog – FOOD!

                The girl sits down. She pours a cup of tea and sets it in front of Stardust.

Stardust – Wow, actual tea. In a way I’m strangely impressed.

Girl – Would like a cookie Lucky?

The dog sits up, eyes wide, drooling. She tosses a cookie to him. He catches it in his mouth.

                Stardust – I wonder what’s taking that stupid mouse so long!

19                           Cut to – Freddie talking to crows.

                Freddie – Are you sure you won’t help?

Crow #1 – Look, after that chess game as far as we’re concerned he should be smart enough to take care of himself.

                Crow #2 – Yeah it’s neither our problem nor responsibility!

                                They fly away.

                Freddie – Well that’s just fantastic.

20                           Int. – Girl’s room.

Girl – Now you’ll have to stay here for now while I go to brownies.

She leaves and shuts the door behind her. The parakeet sees him still wearing the dress.

Parakeet – Tous en un travesti?

Stardust – Ha. ha.

                He pulls off the dress and tiara.

Stardust – Although to be honest if it wasn’t for the whole dress up thing it wouldn’t be so bad here.

21           Parakeet – Well why don’t you stay mate? There’s always food in your dish and a warm bed. To me it sounds better than what you probably deal with out there on the streets.

Stardust – On the streets?! Is that where you think I’m from?

Parakeet – Well aren’t you?

Stardust – Ugh no! I have a respectable owner. Ok well a pot-smoking suicidal sometimes-lesbian owner… but still…

Parakeet – Well I just figured if you had an owner she’s be out looking for you…  

Stardust – Yeah as a matter of fact so would I…

22 +23                   Int. – Stardust’s house.

His owner is searching all over the house. She steps out the front door and yells-

24           Owner – Stardust!

Narration – Will he ever get back home? Be sure to come back next time for the exciting conclusion!

 

Draft two

 

 

Episode #5 – I want to break free PART I

Act I

1a                           Ext. – Pond – Day. Stardust and Freddie sit on the side of a pond.

                Freddie – So-o-o-o he is going to be here right?

                Stardust – I told you.  It’s not an exact science.

                Freddie – Yeah but he said three o’clock and it’s already almost—

                Stardust – He said AROUND three o’clock.

2a           Stardust - Don’t worry. He’s never skipped me once.

                                Sound effect – HONK! HONK!

                Stardust – Ah yes here he comes now.

                                A Canadian goose flies up and lands.

                Stardust – You’re late.

                Goose – A Canadian is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

                                Pause   

                                 The two burst out laughing.

3a           Stardust – Luke you nut job. Tell me, how are things in the great white north?

Luke – Oh not bad, little chillier than I’d like right now, but other than that no complaints. And uh, who’s your friend there?

Stardust – Oh, him? He insists on following me around everywhere.

Luke – Never known you to be the brotherly kind.

                Stardust – Ugh… it’s… uh… it’s complicated. So… have you got the stuff?

4a           Luke – Right here!

                                He unties a small bag from around his neck and tosses it to Stardust. Stardust inspects it thoroughly before opening it up to take a whiff.

                Freddie – What is it?

                Luke – Nothing much. Just a little nepata catarina.

                Freddie – Which is…?

                Stardust and Luke – Catnip.

5a           Luke – So yeah I heard about the suicide thing a few months ago. Must’ve been a pretty tough break up.

                Stardust – Oh well, humans and their foibles.

                Luke – Has she gotten a new boyfriend yet?

                Stardust – Umm…no. But she has gotten a girlfriend instead.

                Luke – Hey I never met a dyke I didn’t like.

                Stardust – Haha! Yeah... Listen, it’s great to see you again.

                Luke – Oh yeah no problem, I’ll try to stop back again on the way up.

                Stardust – Enjoy the Florida weather for me.

                Luke – You know I will. Later buddy.

6a                           He spreads out his wings and takes off. The two begin walking home.

                Stardust – Shall we.

                                Ext. – Road – Day.

                Freddie – So how do you know him anyway?

Stardust – Oh you know, you live in one place long enough, you end up just becoming friends with people without even trying without even trying.

Freddie – So true.

                                Cut to – Close up of wheels spinning. A little girl rides on a bicycle with a basket on the front and streamers on the handle bars. She sees the two of them walking.

7a           Girl – Awww a stray cat. That’s so sad. He needs my help. I just know it.

                                She rides her bike up closer to him. She picks him up from behind.

                Girl – I’m gonna take go-o-o-o-d care of you!

                Stardust – Hey! What the-

Stardust – Run Freddie! Run while you still can!

                                The girl stuffs him in the basket and rides off.

                Freddie – Oh no! What’ll I do?! She’s taken him! I gotta save him!

8a           Stay alive my friend! Whatever happens, I will find you!

Act II

1b                           Int. – Basket - Its pitch black.

Stardust – Where am I? Where is she taking me? I dislike things happening against my will! *OOF!*

2b           Girl’s voice (offscreen) – Now you’ll have to stay here for just a minute.

Door slams.

He sits inside the basket for a moment.

                Stardust – Is…is she gone yet?

                                Slowly he opens the lid of the basket.  He looks around. He sees her door with a picture that says “Claire’s room” on it.

3b           Stardust – Well this is fine mess.

                                He hears a voice offscreen.

                Voice  -  G’day mate!

                                Stardust turns and sees a parakeet in a cage.

Parakeet – Welcome to our humble little island! Let me introduce to the boys! There’s Frank the lizard.

                Frank – Hi.

                Parakeet – The goldfish over there is Sprinkles.

                                Cut to – Goldfish. He says nothing.

 4b          Parakeet – And next to him is Li Quan… the Japanese fighting fish.

                                Cut to – Japanese Fish in separate bowl next to Sprinkles.

                Stardust – Separate bowls?

 Fish speaks in Japanese.

Parakeet – They were on opposite sides during the war, we have to keep them separate or else they’ll kill each other.

Fish - あなたは私の人を侮辱!

Subtitles – Yo-o-o-o-ou dishonor my people!

 

                Parakeet – Now where is that dog? Lucky! Wobble your fat ass over here! We have a new guest!

5b           Stardust – I’m terribly sorry to interrupt your little ceremony there, but I was brought here against my will and I’m rather upset about it.

Parakeet – Ah there’s no need to worry. Claire might be a little bit of a handful but she’ll take good care of you. She’s a friend of all animals in need. Usually they end up dead within 24 hours but she’s got a big heart…

                Stardust – But I don’t need to be taken care of! Now if you could be so kind, I am most anxious to get out of here…

6b           Parakeet – I’d love to help you mate, but I think you’ll find that easier said than done.

                                The girl bursts into the room.

                Girl – I’m ba-a-a-a-ck!

She picks him up and carries him out.

                Girl – We are gonna have so-o-o-o much fun!

7b                           Int - Stardust’s house - His owner fills a bowl with his name on it with cat food.

                Owner – Here kitty kitty kitty!

                                She looks in the front room but he’s not there.

                Owner – Hmm, that’s strange….

8b           Owner -  I wonder where he’s gone off to.

Act III

1c            Int. – Girl’s house.

Stardust sits at a small table. He is wearing a dress with a tiara on his head. In the chair to his left is a teddy bear and to his right is an extremely overweight dog.

                Girl – The tea will be ready in just a moment.

2c                            She walks out of the room.

                Stardust – Oh I shall practice my curtsy.

The dog turns to Stardust.

                Dog – Do you have any food?

Stardust – Does it bloody look like I have any food?! Besides it looks like you could stand to skip a few hundred meals.

Dog – Well you don’t have to be a dick about it.

3c                            The girl walks back in carrying a tray of tea and cookies.

                Girl – The tea and cookies are served.

Dog – FOOD!

                The girl sits down. She pours a cup of tea and sets it in front of Stardust.

Stardust – Wow, actual tea. In a way I’m strangely impressed.

Girl – Would like a cookie Lucky?

The dog sits up, eyes wide, drooling. She tosses a cookie to him. He catches it in his mouth.

4c            Stardust – I wonder what’s taking that stupid mouse so long!

                                Cut to – Freddie talking to crows.

                Freddie – Are you sure you won’t help?

Crow #1 – Look, after that chess game as far as we’re concerned he should be smart enough to take care of himself.

                Crow #2 – Yeah it’s neither our problem nor responsibility!

                                They fly away.

                Freddie – Well that’s just fantastic.

5c                            Int. – Girl’s room.

                Narration – Later on…

Girl – Now you’ll have to stay here for now while I go to brownies. But I’ll be back later to play some more!

She leaves and shuts the door behind her.

                Stardust – Oh goody.

He takes of the tiara and throws it away. The parakeet sees him still wearing the dress.

Parakeet – Tous en un travesti?

Stardust – Ha. ha.

                He pulls off the dress and tiara.

Stardust – Although to be honest if it wasn’t for the whole dress up thing it wouldn’t be so bad here.

6c            Parakeet – Well why don’t you stay mate? There’s always food in your dish and a warm bed. To me it sounds better than what you probably deal with out there on the streets.

Stardust – On the streets?! Is that where you think I’m from?

Parakeet – Well aren’t you?

Stardust – Ugh no! I have a respectable owner. Ok well a pot-smoking suicidal sometimes-lesbian owner… but still…

Parakeet – Well I just figured if you had an owner she’s be out looking for you…  

Stardust – Yeah as a matter of fact so would I…

7c                            Int. – Stardust’s house.

His owner is searching all over the house. She steps out the front door and yells-

8c            Owner – Stardust!

 

So that's that I guess. Please forgive that some of the text doesn't line up right. For some reason when I copy and paste it here it screws up the formatting. And I can't figure out how to fix it.

Tommorow I'll post the script for episode #6.